Robert Pattinson: “If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.”

Brandon Hall: “The reason girls cant find a good guy is because they look in the wrong places, go to a library. Guys at party are just looking for the next girl to fuck.”

(Source: alelopezg, via autumnazure)

Timestamp: 1397778287

Robert Pattinson: “If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.”

Brandon Hall: “The reason girls cant find a good guy is because they look in the wrong places, go to a library. Guys at party are just looking for the next girl to fuck.”

(Source: alelopezg, via autumnazure)

cinnamon-anemone:

thequarantinedmailman:

offonahuntingtrip:

aegean-sea:

LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS

and here we have a capitalist 

Did you just.

let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history and human language and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible

(via whispersfromthemoon)

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via shy-guy-kai)

gingerblivet:

Things I will not judge you for:
•Sexuality
•Religion
•Race
•Clothing choices

Things I will judge you for:
•Not signalling while driving
•How you treat wait staff
•Which way you think the toilet roll goes

(via shy-guy-kai)

alzix:

I live in constant fear of being shit on by a bird

(via whycantwebeyoungforever)

kushandwizdom:

The good vibe

(via apprendreetgrandir)

uncharge:

but seriously how did people even do their homework before the internet

(via whycantwebeyoungforever)

hqlines:

~ Film: The Crow

(via whycantwebeyoungforever)